Sleazenation 7/99

GERMAN MAXI RAVE BLAST

In this age of trans-European brotherhood, if there's one cliché that no longer 
applies it's that our historic rivals the Germans have no sense of humor. 
Leading the field in the new wave of Teutonic titilation and Rhur risibility 
are Bodenstandig 2000, by day artificial intelligence engineers and by nachte 
»the greatest pop stars to come out of the Saarland since Boney M.«

Bodenstandig 2000 are Bernhard Kirsch and Dragon Espenschied. »Bodenstandig 
means 'Both Feet on the Ground',« explains Dragon. »Very simple things. Maybe 
you should imagine an old farmer woman with very large breasts saying 'We do it 
like our ancestors did.' That's Bodenstandig. Although we produce extremely 
cheap and street credible, we stand for maximum commerciality and first class 
sales figures.«

The tracks on their latest LP Maxi German Rave Blast Hits Volume 3 are entirely 
constructed using PC soundcards, the duo having just moved on from using vintage
Commodores and Ataris. The program they most often utilise is one of their own 
creation, the Deluxe Mjuzakk Zerbastel Kit. Over these powerful primitive 
musical expressions Bernhard sings sensitively of the issues facing every young 
German, such as not being allowed to play ones' Atari and being told to 
»go outside and get some fresh air instead.«

It's fast, it's funny. And in celebration of brave new world complete with 
German jocularity, we asked Dragon and Bernhard to whittle up a handy little 
mini-phrase book of the most rib-tickling words in their language. The list is 
ideal for breaking the ice with any Germans who might appear at first 
straight-laced and unsure of how to conduct themselves in a country against 
which they have lost two world wars; but once you've made them feel at ease by 
demonstrating your mastery of their native tongue and how it can fit like a 
glove with your own famous British wit, the barriers of miscommunication will 
come clattering down -- just like the Berlin wall.


SCHNEERAUMPFLICHT - The duty of a caretaker to clear the snow from in front 
of his house.
SCHMANDBEUTELSPEZIALITAT - A soft cake with a milk derivate in it.
KAPITALER KEILER - A very large pig
FERUNKEL - Sort of a very large spot
DAS GEMACHT ABSCHLAGEN - To urinate with your penis
ASTHETIKPROFESSOR BAZON BROCK - A famous ugly German professor of aesthetics


Maxi German Rave Blast Hits 3 is out now on Rephlex Records.

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